CHAPTER 5: The Sickness
True to his word, the good Friar was released at the nearest port. For the month he was on our ship, however, the portly old monk was treated like royalty. His accommodations were upgraded from a straw lined cell, to a private guest room. We made sure he was fed, wined, and spoiled beyond all measure. I never asked for this, mind you. My Lord ordered these things himself, completely unprovoked. I think he felt guilt for punishing me, and this was his way of making peace. I can’t be sure, but I was thankful beyond words.
I was even allowed to keep the Monk’s company, while chaperoned, of course. All the same, I was overwhelmingly pleased for Friar Toma’s fellowship and camaraderie, while it was to last, at least. I knew it was temporary, but this friendship meant more to me than anyone could ever know. We prayed, talked about books, laughed at silly jokes, read to each other, and we argued like brother and sister until the sad day we had to say goodbye.
My Lord, in his infinite generosity, allowed me to accompany the crew and Friar Tomas to the dock, allowing me to get off the ship for a few hours. After saying our farewells, Mr. Wolf then walked me around the city until dusk, when we, exhausted, made our way back to the docks to board our dinghies back to the ship.
I was absolutely giddy with the joy of being allowed to leave the ship to explore the city, to walk along the seashore to collect shells, and best of all, I was permitted to talk to other people for the first time in two months! I didn’t know how lonely I had been until I was sitting in a group of mirthful friends who were playing games amongst each other. Everyone else knew the rules, but I was lost the entire time. I felt like the odd one out.
When we got back to the ship, the crew settled into their positions, and the Captain and I retired to his quarters. It was a typical night for us, but by morning, I had grown a rather nasty fever. My flesh was sweaty and hot to the touch. Then, a great cough started to erupt from my body in deep, painful spasms that would shake the very core of my chest.
I couldn’t breathe. Soon, I felt weak, and was barely able to get out of bed. My Wolf stayed by my side, feeding and tending to my needs, but it soon became clear that I had picked something up at the port. Thankfully, we hadn’t sailed too far away from the city, so we turned around, and sought out a proper doctor.
They took me to a healer in town, an old witch. It was the best anyone could do for me under the circumstances. By the time we arrived at her shack, I was already becoming delirious from fever. Before finally blacking out, I can barely recall my Lord kissing me, begging me not to leave him. “I love you,” he whispered tearfully into my ear as I faded away into unconsciousness.
I had awakened 6 days later, suffering from the worst headache I’ve ever had in my entire life. I opened my eyes, but was met only with darkness. “Hello?” I called out. I felt a hand latch onto mine. It was my Captain. “You’re awake! Thank god! I thought we lost you!” I felt him kissing my hand, holding it so tightly that it nearly hurt.
As it turned out, I had contracted a serious fever while on shore leave. So did nearly half the crew. Everyone bounced back pretty easily, myself being the only exception. I was the only one who had nearly died. I heard movement all around me, but I couldn’t see anything. Confused, I asked if someone could light a candle, as it was painfully dark in there.
My Lord gasped loudly. “Oh, God, you’re blind!” he screamed in fear and sadness, holding my hand even tighter in his.
I heard soft and swift little footsteps head my way before stopping immediately in front of me. A clearly much older lady began to speak only inches from my face. “Oh dear,” she said, “It seems like the fever has fucked up her vision. Don’t be shocked if it never comes back. However, be sure to praise God if it does.”
This wasn’t very reassuring. I began to cry, but my lover held my hand and comforted me. I focused my mind, and fought the urge to panic. True, I might never see again, but being blind wasn’t being helpless, I thought to myself. I didn’t need eyes, because I had common sense and a very good memory.
For example: I didn’t need my eyes to know that due to the lack of swaying, we were still on shore. I could tell we were still near the shore by the seagulls that were honking outside. I didn’t hear people, so we obviously weren’t in a public place, but instead someone’s private home. I figured it had to be the witch’s, as she was the closest thing to a doctor in the entire port. Clearly, I was going to be okay, with my vision or not
After reassuring myself, I started to put a brave face on for Wolf, as well.
I squeezed his hand, and lifted it to my lips. Kissing it gently before pressing the palm to my cheek, I softly whispered “I’m going to be okay. Especially since I’m with you. I know you’d never let anything bad happen to me, if you can help it.” I felt him kiss me back. Though he didn’t say anything, there was something in his breathing, in the subtle sounds he made, that convinced me he was on the verge of tears.
Just then, I realized a fact that seemed so obvious now:. My Lord had finally fallen in love with me. He truly loved me now, and I could see it as clear as day. Judging by how terrified he was at nearly losing me, there was no longer any doubt in my mind. Wolf must have realized what he had to lose, and it clearly shook him to the core.
“My bride,” he whispered, his mouth gently pressed to the palm of my hand.
Before, when he called me his bride, it was lip service. He often said those words with venom, mocking her each time he had said it. But now? It’s clear that this was exactly what I was. No pirate would wait on shore for almost a week for mere sex slave, not when he could be on the water, making gold the best way he knows how. I was truly his bride now, and there was no longer a doubt in my mind.
Even if I did have any doubts, the ring he slid on my finger would have quelled them. Wolf didn’t even need to ask. After a few more days of rest, we stopped to get married before heading back to the ship, hand in hand, ready to spend the rest of our lives together.
When I stepped back onto the Celeste, the crew erupted in applause. Even O’Doyle stood there, cheering happily along with the boys. I thought it was because we had gotten married, but no. They were cheering because I had survived my illness. I waved back shyly, unsure of what the appropriate reaction should be. My Lord, laughing fondly at the exchange between myself and the crew, picked me up, and carried me to his quarters.
It was time for our honeymoon.
The moment he closed the doors behind us, my beloved pulled me into a passionate, breathtaking kiss. Wolf wrapped his arms around me, holding me in such a way that he never had before. I felt genuinely loved, needed, respected and adored. Most of all, I felt safe in his arms. I no longer felt disposable. I wasn’t a toy anymore. Instead, I was his loyal and blushing bride, and nothing ever felt so good to me.
Lovingly, my husband whispered in my ear: “When I thought you were dying, I instantly regretted my cruelty. I knew if I were given a second chance, I’d do right by you. I’ll never be unkind to you again, my dearest love.”
I simply don’t have the words to adequately describe the fire that Wolf ignited within me. I loved everything about that man. Yes, he was more beast than man, but saints preserve me, I hungered for him.
“Please, make love to me, dear husband,” I moaned against his lips as I began to strip off our clothing, tossing them to the floor.
With a soft growl, my man obliged, gently laying me onto his bed and spreading my legs with his knee. Then, gently, I felt him slide in between my thighs, taking his place on top of me. With a deep, passionate kiss, he entered me, and my toes curled instantly in pleasure. His lips worshiped me as he began to thrust. Slow and steady at first, my Lord went faster and faster, his lips never leaving my own.
Wolf and I had made love before, but never like this. This was more passionate, more loving than before, taking me to peaks and valleys that I didn’t even know existed before this moment. I was mesmerized, enamored, and made prisoner by the sheer intensity of his body as it grinded and gyrated against my own.
I started to act on instinct, desperate for that climax that only my Wolf could give me. With a growl of my own, I pushed him off me and threw him down to the bed by my side before climbing on top. Straddling my Lord, I began to ride him. He grabbed my hips and led me on, showing me what to do.
I leaned down, kissing him with every fiber of my being. Without words, I showed him my love, silently demonstrating my own lust to him with each arch of my back and every buck of my hips. God, I loved this man, and I needed to show him accordingly. I took Wolf to the very brink before pulling him back, teasing him with the orgasm he craved so badly.
Soon, my Lord could take no more of my ample teasing, and without breaking our connection, he forced me back onto the bed, then putting my ankles over his shoulder, he began to pound me harder, filling me with the desperate desire to cum.
I wasn’t left to wait long, as my Lord climaxed deep inside me, his lips capturing mine as I followed suit. Content and covered in sweat, we just laid there, holding each other tightly.
“I love you,” he moaned seductively against my neck, still shaking from our shared climax.
“And I love you, too” was the only response that I could muster, as I couldn’t think clearly at the moment. I couldn’t do much else other than just lay there under him, completely content and lost in the moment. Feeling myself fall asleep, I wrapped my arms around my man and kissed again. My Lord rolled off of me, and pulled me into his arms. Tangled in each other, I didn’t know where he started and I began.
As we fell asleep, I fantasized of our future together; of the children we were going to have, of where we were going to be in twenty years, and most of all, I wondered what kind of father my beloved Captain would be.
That night, I dreamed, yet after waking up, I could only remember bits and pieces.
First, I vaguely recall holding a baby in my arms, my feet dangling haphazardly off the side of the Celeste. It was as if I were completely oblivious to the dangers below.
I remember the tone shifting suddenly, and I was being embraced by a man. To my horror, it wasn’t my husband, but First Mate O’Doyle. His mouth was pressed to mine, his arms holding me still as I tried to wiggle away. I was fighting him, but there was no hiding my arousal.
The next thing I knew, Wolf was beating me viciously, pulling my hair as he slapped me hard enough to fill my mouth with blood. It was like I was standing there, watching it as it happened. Usually, I’d be aroused by his rage, but this wasn’t fun to me. I was, in fact, scared of this dream version of Wolf.
Even though he didn’t have the power to kill me here, I was truly afraid. It was bizarre, seeing it from that angle, watching my own abuse like a helpless bystander, completely unable to help.
The dream felt so real, so visceral. I could practically taste the blood in my mouth as it leaked all over the floor under me. This made me wonder: Did I actually loved him, or was I only trying to make this difficult situation easier to handle?
The first thing I felt when I woke up was Wolf’s eyes on me. Though I couldn’t see him due to my blindness, I could still feel him staring at me, and he was breathing like he would be if in a state of worry.
God, I must have awakened him up by flailing in my sleep. We were still tangled together in bed, and I was in his arms. Normally, I’d feel safe to be there, but not this time. I found myself wiggling away from him.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, concerned.
Too scared to say anything, I quietly got out of bed and slipped into Wolf’s robe.
Dammit all, I had only just gotten him to trust me, and now I’m questioning him? I was simply losing faith, that’s all, I thought to myself. Yet, deep down, I knew the truth, and I was well aware that I needed to find a way to escape before he made me with his child. With the way we were going, I’d surely be a mother by that time, next year.
However, when I thought of life without him, my blood ran cold with misery. I either loved him dearly, or had convinced myself to do so in order to survive, but either way, the man was truly under my skin. He was my beloved, whether I liked it, or not.
I sat down in my Lord’s most comfortable chair with a blanket wrapped around me, and tucked my feet under me in an attempt to get comfortable. With my nerves so fragile, I didn’t want to risk angering him, and this anxiety made it impossible for me to explain my bizarre behavior. I merely sat there, with nothing to say. Not long after, I could hear Wolf getting out of bed, before walking to me, and stopping at my side. He sighed sadly before kissing the top of my head.
“What can I do to make you feel better, my love?” my Wolf asked softly, sensing my discomfort.
“I don’t know, so your guess would be as good as mine.” My voice was barely above a whisper as I lied to him. Hesitating a moment, I continued. “Just promise me one thing?”
Wolf’s tone perked up, “Yes, anything, my dear.”
I hesitated nervously before continuing. “When we start having children, I beg you, don’t be mean to them. I remember how you treated me before we became acquainted. I know you can be firm in hand, I beg that you leave discipline to me, please.”
Frankly, I didn’t want to tell him what was on my mind just yet, but this would do. After all, he wasn’t ready to hear about that dream I had about O’Doyle. I doubt he ever would be, honestly. My Beloved laughed. “Of course I’ll be good to our children. They’re just kids. I promise I’ll be patient with them, and leave the heavy work to you. Now, what’s really on your mind?”
Damn, I hadn’t fooled him. Pulling the blanket tighter around myself, I buried myself deeper into the chair as if to appear smaller. “Never you mind, my dear love. Never you mind.” In my darkness, I could still feel his eyes on me, observing my face for even the slightest hint of my internal dialogue. I had only made him curious.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Wolf laughed in mild frustration. “I promise that I won’t be angry with you.” His voice was sincere, but I didn’t know if he could keep his word.
“Wolf, my husband, please. It’s late. I’m tired, I had a terrible nightmare, and would very much like to go back to bed. Please, come with me?” I said as I offered him my hand. He took it, as he slowly led me back to bed. I was carefully tucked in like a beloved baby as my husband then curled up behind me, pulling into the little spoon position.
I tried to sleep, but my dream haunted me until sunrise.