CHAPTER 6: O’Doyle
My dearest Captain had started to become lax about the rules he had made for me, especially the ones that prevented me fraternizing with his crew. Wolf no longer believed I would sleep with another, nor was he convinced that one of his men were going to rape me the moment I was alone.
I was allowed to wander the ship, with assistance from the cabin boy, while my dearest husband worked during the day. In the process, I’ve come to make friends with several of the pirates on board. Weeks passed and everything was going well. Surprisingly well, all things considered. In that entire time, I still hadn’t decided on what to do with Wolf.
To be honest, what I needed to do, and what I wanted to do were in direct conflict with each other. I felt like I loved my dearest Wolf, but regardless of my concerns on whether I did or didn’t, at least I knew for sure that he loved me. I was spoiled, pampered, loved, and treated like a queen. Even if I was only fooling myself into loving him, his love alone was good enough for me. I decided not to overthink my situation. I knew it was bad. I was a captive, no matter what I’d tell myself, but I was a happy one, and that was the very least anyone could ask for.
I decided to give this more thought.
His crew was very friendly to me, and I was quickly learning to love them. All, that is, except for O’Doyle, who avoided me like the plague. The first mate’s eyes quickly cast downward the moment he’d see me, and I could never catch his gaze. Perhaps this was for the best, really. Since having an erotic dream about the man, I felt awkward about being in his presence, and a part of me truly believed he could sense that in me.
God forbid our Captain, my dear husband, were to sense any of my awkwardness. Knowing my lover, he’d surely get jealous, and begin to assume the very worst in O’Doyle and I. Frankly, I loved the new Wolf, the one that treated me like a human, and I didn’t want to make him angry. It was quite nice having him so calm, so content, and so very in love. I was desperate to keep him that way.
Did I miss his abusive, violent side? Of course I did. I missed it when he’d lose his temper on me, but our love manifested differently now. Maybe one day, we’d find a safe balance between pleasure and pain, I thought to myself, but until then, I wouldn’t have changed our happy marriage for the world. Despite our rocky start, Wolf and I had discovered happiness and love, on our own terms.
But of course, I had to mess things up, exactly as I always seem to do.
It was midnight, and the boys were all in bed, except for our night crew. They consisted of a watcher perched in the crow’s nest, and a small handful of guards for basic security and ship defense, should we be boarded in the dead of night. The Captain and I were in his quarters, under his covers, making out tenderly in each other’s arms.
I whimpered as he moved his lips off mine, and down the front of my neck, tracing the line of my throat downwards to the space in between my breasts. When he playfully bit me there, I let out a yelp of shock, but also couldn’t help myself from running my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to me despite the pain.
“Feeling frisky, aren’t you, my darling?” I teased. He answered by capturing me into a smoldering kiss, rendering me helpless in his arms. “I love you,” I whispered against his mouth, wrapping my arms around him, pulling him closer still.
We were suddenly startled by the jarring sound of somebody loudly knocking on the door. Wolf loudly barked “ENTER!” and as he rolled off of me, and threw a shirt on. I knew by the sound of the footsteps walking in that it was O’Doyle. Instinctively, I pulled a sheet around my shoulders, wrapping it around me like a tunic, even managing to cover my head.
The idea of the First Mate seeing me naked had covered every inch of my body in goosebumps. I hastefully tried to hide the evidence, but though I couldn’t see, it felt like both men were staring at me as I did. I had no way of knowing if they were for certain, but the paranoia started to eat me alive. My skin started to heat up, likely blushing in embarrassment.
My Wolf suddenly stopped talking, pausing for a moment, before finally asking: “What on Earth is wrong with you, Vita? You’re acting strangely.”
I fidgeted for a moment before finally responding with a meek “Could you boys please take this outside?” They both laughed and in moments, had left the large bedroom, allowing me some modesty.
When he came back, my love found me sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but one of his shirts. I was sprawled out and relaxing on the massive feather mattress, nearly falling asleep as the rocking of the ocean lulled me into a state of dreamlike relaxation. “I think I’m in love with the water. When I feel the waves under us, I know I’m home,” I said softly as the door shut behind him. My Wolf remained quiet.
I continued, “Honestly, I never would have guessed this would be my life. Despite what’s happened, I praise God for putting me into your hands, my dearest Captain. You’re everything to me, and…”
Wolf interrupted me. “Vita, do you want O’Doyle?”
I gasped loudly, turning to face him. “What kind of question is this? I want you. I love you. How could you ever doubt me?” Offended, I repeated the question when he didn’t answer me the first time. “How could you think this about me?”
My husband’s voice boomed, filling his quarters, shaking the very walls with his anger. I had to cover my ears for a moment to protect my hearing, his rage scaring me to my core: “I saw you! I saw the lust on your face, just having him in the room! You might be blind, Vita, but I’m not! I saw everything! How long have you wanted to fuck him?”
My words were caught in my throat, and I was left unable to speak from pure shock. Whenever Wolf was like this, I knew that there were no answers that would appease his fury. Anything I said would be twisted into a reason to punish me. Even silence wasn’t an option, and would surely be grounds for a beating.
“I only wanted modesty! I don’t want him seeing me naked. Why do you think I want him?”
He growled, pushing me back against the headboard, his face only inches from my own. “You slut. That was lust. I know what you look like when you’re hungry for cock. You’re not the innocent little nun anymore, my love. You’re a whore now.” His voice was cold, evil and he clearly focused on hurting me with his words. “Should I call O’Doyle in so you can fuck him?”
“No, my Love! I was aroused because you were only just kissing me when he had knocked! You were doing that thing I really like, and you know how it always steals my breath away. Please, I was only acting that way because I couldn’t wait for him to leave. I wanted you to finish taking me. Please, my Lord, please, let’s forget about him.”
My husband let out a delirious roar, before grabbing me by my arm. He then dragged me out of the quarters, leading me outside to the deck, where I could hear the night crew currently working.
“Boys, I need your attention,” Wolf said loudly as I tried to keep the sheet wrapped tastefully around myself in the ocean wind. However, to my horror, my dear Captain grabbed my sheet, and threw it on the floor, knowing full well that I’d be left freezing in the sea air. I could feel dozens of eyes looking at me, and I, in that moment, prayed quietly for God to let me die. I didn’t want to be forced to suffer longer than I already have.
I could hear O’Doyle’s footsteps get closer before suddenly stopping in their tracks. “Captain, calm yourself. There’s no need to hurt the girl.” As the two men faced off, I could hear the night crew whispering nervously amongst each other.
Our Captain lashed out violently at O’Doyle. “Do you want to fuck her? She wants to fuck you!”
I let out a sob, “NO! I don’t!” as I shivered in the sea’s freezing cold wind.
O’Doyle laughed darkly, “If I wanted to fuck your girl, she’d already be thick with my festering seed, you knob.”
“Then why do you care how I treat her?” Wolf’s voice was deranged and superheated with rage. “Take a look at her, O’Doyle. That’s an order. Go on. See how pretty she is? How silky smooth her skin is?”
The first mate muttered a quick and confused “Yeah? I see”
Wolf laughed, “You’ll never get to taste her, to touch her. She belongs to me, and I can do whatever I want with the girl.” I could feel Wolf’s hands cup both my breasts with his hands, as if to claim me. When I tried to push back, my Lord hit me hard enough to make me see stars, blind or not.
The entire night crew groaned in shock and anger at his base, cruel, and monstrous behavior.
“Those tits belong to me. That cunt is my property. Every inch of her is mine, and if anyone else even so much as tempts her, and I’ll kill her myself.”
I heard my deranged, jealous husband then pulling his pants down, right there in front of his night crew, before knocking me to the deck’s floor with a deafening thud. I felt my wrist bend painfully underneath me as I fell. All I could do was scream, begging my love for mercy, but it was like he didn’t even hear me.
Ever the monster, he ignored my pleas for sanity, and pushed my clinched legs open with his. I felt his hand wrap cruelly around my throat and I let out an accidental whimper of desire. God, even as he was truly hurting me, I couldn’t fight the devil’s temptation that lived deep inside my heart. No matter how much I prayed to cast it out, my soul felt as if it were taken over by a dark force that hungered for my husband and his cold rage.
I tried not to whimper again as he entered me, but he knew how badly I wanted him. There was no hiding the way my body reacted to my beloved Wolf, and how wet I’d become wherever he grabbed me by the throat. With a growl, he moaned cruelly: “See how I can make your body betray you? See how I control you and manipulate your senses to my will? No other man can ever make you feel like this, that I promise.”
The ocean wind froze me to the bone, but the icy air didn’t stop Renauld’s onslaught of violence. With his men watching, on the deck of his ship, I was beaten, humiliated, choked, and forced to cum as he raped me. Wolf pulled out of me, and stood up. At first I thought it was because he had finished, but I couldn’t have been further from the truth. I had no concept of what he was doing as he stroked himself while standing over me, but I learned his intention quickly when he started to cum.
I tried to get away, but with his free hand, I was quickly pinned, forced to take his load all over my face and hair. He stood over me, groaning, growling, vibrating in climax as I laid under him, silently praying to God to make me stop loving him. Saints preserve me, I didn’t want to love this monster anymore, but I couldn’t help myself. Even as he hated me with every fiber of his being, I still could never hate my beloved Captain.
“Tell O’Doyle who owns you,” Renauld commanded. When my only response was to roll away from him, he kicked me in my side. Only then did I obey.
“I belong to Wolf!” I screamed, gagging on my own sobs of pain and humiliation.
“Tell him you don’t love him,” he ordered, but I didn’t get a chance to respond.
O’Doyle had enough. “Damn you, look what you’ve done to her! And for what? Because you’re jealous?” he screamed, “I’d never touch your woman because if you do this when she’s innocent, I can’t imagine how you’d behave if Vita was actually guilty!”
This seemed to knock the wind out of my husband. He fastened his belt, and left me there on the deck, naked and cold. As he headed back to his quarters alone, one of his men handed back my sheet. Sadly, it did nothing against the cold that was threatening to wind burn my skin.
I didn’t know who was leading me, or where we were going, but I was too broken to fight them. All I knew was we were going inside. After a moment, we were in the kitchen, and by the smell of the hot sand stove being fired up, someone was clearly preparing food.
The ship’s cook then spoke up, proving me right. “Here’s some rum, Mrs. Renauld. I have some salted beef and cheese on the way. Perhaps you’d be interested in a little bit of chocolate, too, eh?” His voice was soft, sweet, and completely patronizing. I’m sure he didn’t mean to be, but it’s how I felt in the moment.
“I’m not a child,” I bemoaned, a sore throat making my voice rasp more than usual. “Please, don’t talk to me like I’m fragile. If I were, I’d have broken a long time ago. I’ll take the rum, meat and cheese, but please fuck off.”
That was the first time I ever swore. I’ve spent my life avoiding such sinful things, but that no longer mattered. I was too angry to be concerned with my normal formalities, and found it much more fun to be vulgar, especially after hearing the cook gasp in shock at my language. It wasn’t the words themselves that dropped his jaw. It was the fact that it was I who said it.
He chuckled softly, laying his hand on my shoulder. “You’re gonna be okay, kid. You’re gonna be just fine.”
A smile formed on my lips when I sipped the rum that was placed in front of me, and my nerves began to calm as the glass in my hand became more and more empty. I had never been drunk before, but this was fun. When I began to fall asleep at the table, I heard my Lord’s voice fill the small kitchen.
“Come to bed, Wife,” he said firmly, but I recoiled from his hand when it grasped my forearm as he tried to lead me away from the table. I didn’t move. Not even an inch. Instead, I took a huge bite of cheese.
“No. I think I’ll finish my food first.” My voice was as stern as his, my subtle way of challenging him to mess with me. This time, I wouldn’t be so coy and sweet. The booze made me bolder, stronger, meaner… I wasn’t scared of him anymore.
“Stop playing with me,” Wolf barked, but I laughed at him, amused.
“You’re a fool if you think I could ever replace you. Especially with O’Doyle. You stole my life as a nun, you burned down my abbey, killed my sisters, and you think I’d betray you after seeing what you’ve done? Any moment, you could throw me in the sea if you wanted and leave me to die, but I’m supposed to feel safe with you? What a joke!”
“Honey, I…” My husband was going to apologize, but I interrupted him.
My fist came down on the table with an echoing thud, shaking everything on it. “No! I don’t want to hear it! You’re a vulgarian and a fool, and nothing you can say will ever change that. It pains me that I love a foolish, horrible man.”
Wolf laughed softly, “You’re drunk!”
My only response back was simply this: “Fuck you, Wolf.”
“Where are you going to sleep, then, my love?” he said in a tone of superiority, as if he had figured out how to get his way with me. His threat was subtle, implying I wouldn’t have any place to sleep for the night if I didn’t come with him. I simply wasn’t having it, dismissing him with the simple wave of my hand.
“In your bed. You’ll be sleeping with your men tonight, and I dare you to fight me on this, I swear to God. I’m so tired of you, I’m tempted to jump off this vessel myself, just to get away.” Yes, I swore in The Almighty’s name, but I was angry, and had no intention of backing down.
Wolf stopped laughing. His breathing changed, and I could hear him slowly walking out in defeat, the door to the kitchens closing behind him. My stern tone had worked, and I was given his quarters, whereas Wolf left to sleep in the barracks with the rest of his men.
The cabin boy brought my breakfast directly to my bed the next morning. He had never done this before, so I could only assume that he was there at the behest of my Lord. To everyone’s shock, including my own, I turned the young man out, taking the food before slamming the door behind me. Simply, I had never been hungover before, and it made me rather fussy, if I’m being honest.
I suppose the term to describe me here would be “mean drunk.”
My attention quickly turned to the pitcher of water that was brought to me for breakfast. With little effort at all, I had chugged every last drop. I rejected the pineapple, nuts and hardtack, however, as the smell made me heave with discomfort. This was odd, as the smell of pineapple had always been pleasant to me before this. I had no idea why it was reeking such havoc on my senses now.
When I heard the door opening, I sharply barked: “No visitors.”
Wolf ignored my words, entering as he pleased, and after crossing the floor with heavy steps, I felt him sit down next to me on the bed. His words were playful and aloof, almost flirty in tone: “Come now, my pet. You can’t be mad at me forever.”
I groaned in frustration. “Will you admit you overreacted? Will you admit that you know I’m innocent of those horrible accusations?”
My husband paused for a moment, likely thinking of the right words before finally saying “Yes. I believe you, and I want your forgiveness.”
Indeed, I thought to myself. Of course he does, but was he willing to earn it?
My words spat out through clenched teeth: “Say you’re sorry to me, and then go apologize to your men, especially O’Doyle. Do it, and we can continue this conversation. Refuse, and I’ll never let this go. Trust me, when it comes to a battle of wills, you’ve met your match. Don’t make me prove it.”
Wolf didn’t say another word, but instead, left the quarters quietly, the door closing behind him. Once he returned, my Wolf shamefully whispered: “It’s done. Please forgive me. I’m sorry, and I love you.” His voice was sincere. Warm. He clearly meant what he said. My arms reached out to him, and he embraced me lovingly, kissing my neck with a heavy sigh of relief.
Outside, I’m sure we looked like the picture of marital bliss, but inside, I was still seething with a rage that I knew would eventually require a reckoning. Something deep down inside told me that I was being fooled, but I pushed it out of my mind while quietly praying that I wouldn’t live to regret ignoring my instincts.